written by Rachel Smith, founder of Give Yourself Kindness, who has lived experience of the challenges, pain and complexity of Eating Disorder recovery. Together with experienced psychotherapist Carrie Pollard, MSW RSW who specilises in self-compassion and the crucial role that can have within Eating disorder recovery.
Ask an expert: what is the best gift to support Eating disorder recovery?
Eating disorder recovery is incredibly hard, and supporting someone through this time is incredibly hard too. You desperately want to do something to help, but it's hard to know what to do.
A small gift can have meaningful impact, but knowing what might help, and what might be unhelpful is a challenge.
It feels important to say that everyone is different but here are 7 gifts that have been carefully chosen to create moments of comfort and connection. They navigate away from triggers - something I feel incredible passionate about after my own journey of finding lots of "wellness" journals that had weight and food tracking - this was the inspiration for Give Yourself Kindness, and it's still something I find so troubling to know.
To make sure these gifts have as much impact as possible I collaborated with the wonderful experienced psychotherapist Carrie Pollard MSW RSW, for her expert thoughts on each gift.
A gift of kindness: the Give Yourself Kindness journal
The Give Yourself Kindness journal is a supportive guided journal with tools to guide you to try to speak to yourself with kindness. Rooted in self-compassion and recommended by professionals including leading CFT researcher, teacher and clinical psychologist Dr. Chris Irons, this journal is a safe space where no emotion is wrong. Printed in the UK and using a subtle, luxury design let the Give Yourself Kindness journal support your loved one to speak to themselves with the same kindness they would give to a friend.
Carrie Pollard's MSW RSW, expert thoughts
Eating disorders can distract you from what you’re feeling and needing. Learning to reconnect with the mind and body with curiosity and compassion can be an important part of recovery. I appreciate how the Give Yourself Kindness journal assists with noticing, naming and creating space for all your feelings. (As Rachel states, “bothness is normal”.) It also nurtures a compassionate response to your emotions.
Shop Now £28.95
A gift to share: award winning mental health magazine Happiful subscription
The award-winning Happiful magazine is a gift put together by an amazing range of experts in the mental health field, offering a toolkit of ideas and a sense of connection for your loved one navigating the challenges of an eating disorder. Happiful Magazine is based in the UK but offers worldwide delivery. You can also read each issue online for free online.
Carrie Pollard's MSW RSW, expert thoughts
Reading magazines can be an accessible and engaging way to learn more about health and wellness. I’m a new subscriber to Happiful magazine and I’m impressed with the articles on relationships, creativity, self-understanding, coping tools and resources, and my favourite article so far, “What do random acts of kindness do to our brains”.
Show Now, £5.99/Month
A gift of connection: forest bathing experience
Connection with nature and the soil can be an incredibly powerful and comforting feeling. Gifting the soothing practice of forest bathing could be a wonderfully thoughtful way to support your loved one. It's like giving them a comforting embrace from nature - a grounding experience that brings moments of calm.
Carrie Pollard's MSW RSW, expert thoughts
Going outdoors can make us feel calmer, more balanced and less stimulated. My ‘go-to’ grounding exercise is to take a quick breathing break outside, and for a longer acts of self-care, I will go for a hike in a forested area. Green spaces, like forests, can make us feel more connected to ourselves and to the beauty of nature.
Discover more here (UK)
(Outside of the UK search for forest bathing in your area).
A gift to inspire: Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself – Kristin Neff
Gift the knowledge of self-compassion from Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field and an associate professor at the University of Texas. This empowering book offers practical tools for navigating life's challenges with self-compassion.
Carrie Pollard's MSW RSW, expert thoughts
Books that foster self-insight, self-discovery and self-care are the gifts that keep on giving. The book, “Self-Compassion” introduces us to the benefits of self-compassion, how it differs from self-esteem, and how we can practice it through mindfulness, self-kindness and common humanity. If you would like more insights on how to apply self-compassion practices, consider “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” by Drs. Krisitn Neff and Christopher Germer.
Shop Now ~£7
A gift to create: abstract painting kit
Creating a safe space to immerse yourself in creativity can be an incredibly powerful tool. With this abstract painting kit imagine your loved one expressing themselves with art and finding a space away from any challenging thoughts. Try this kit from Sculpd or you can make your own!
Carrie Pollard's MSW RSW, expert thoughts
Creative activities can help us ‘get out of our heads’ and focus on the moment. It can bring joy, connection and comfort. I particularly like doodling and abstract painting as it helps free us from the worry of mistakes and instead see the beauty in imperfections’
Shop Now Sculpd Kit From £35
A gift to empower: Give Yourself Kindness affirmation cards
Affirmations can be an incredibly powerful tool, offering gentle reminders to sprinkle throughout your day. At the same time affirmations that promote forced positivity - can be damaging. No one going through a tough time needs to be made to think they have to only feel happy, or need to instantly think of the silver lining. The Give Yourself Kindness affirmations do not promote forced positivity, instead find carefully researched affirmations that use self-compassion to disrupt negative thought patterns to change the way you speak to yourself. A gentle yet powerful tool to nurture self-compassion.
Carrie Pollard's MSW RSW, expert thoughts
The Give Yourself Kindness affirmation cards can help nurture a more compassionate inner voice, which is an important part of eating disorder recovery. These affirmation cards remind you that you matter, that your feelings are valid, and that there is beauty in your strength and softness. My favourite affirmation from these cards is, ‘I can do anything, but not everything.’.
Shop Now from £15.95
A gift to calm: Calm meditation app subscription
Calm, the meditation app, emerges as a soothing and supportive gift backed by its reputation for providing a vast array of guided meditations, sleep stories and calming music. It has an evidence-based approach and millions of users worldwide.
Carrie Pollard's MSW RSW, expert thoughts
I’ve heard from many people how helpful the Calm app is in developing a mindfulness practice and in offering comfort and guidance during difficult times. I personally appreciate the meditations that nurture self-compassion.
Shop Now, Prices From £7.99/Month
A note on the holiday season and Christmas
Within the pain of eating disorder recovery, the holidays can often be a particularly challenging time. It is a lovely thing to want to give a gift to send love and I hope these suggestions help. At the same time if the holidays feel too overwhelming know there is no wrong time to gift.
A note from Carrie Pollard MSW RSW...
An opportunity for distance from the eating disorder voice
As I consider each of these thoughtful gifts that Rachel selected, I notice how each provide an opportunity to create distance from the eating disorder voice and instead gently (re)connect with your own feelings and needs, your creativity, your inner compassionate voice, and overall be more present and engaged with the world around you.
'go softly and allow for space to stumble and recover'
Using new ways of coping and connecting can be overwhelming at first, so go softly and allow for space to stumble and recover. The healing journey is not linear and the mistakes and slips can strengthen you.
'I encourage those in recovery to consider getting gifts for themselves'
I hope that these gift ideas help guide loved ones, and I encourage those in recovery to consider getting gifts for themselves as an act of self-kindness.
If purchasing gifts is not accessible or affordable, you can gift yourself (or the person you care about) with a caring and compassionate presence, time in nature, and space to journal, reflect, read and create. In fact, the Give Yourself Kindness website (and my own website www.flourishwithcompassion.com) offers many free resources, including blogs and a lovely weekly newsletter.
Sending lots of warmth and kindness to everyone in this really challenging and complex time. I hope this can help and that Give Yourself Kindness can be a place of support and a place to share tools that make a difference.
With kindness, Rachel x
