Quick answer
The gift I'd choose for someone who can't sleep is The Sleep Affirmation Cards: twenty gentle cards for the bedside, for the moments their mind won't settle and the pressure to sleep makes it harder.
Reviewed by neuroscientist and sleep expert Olena Santangeli, PhD. Read her review
Prefer something different? More gifts are below.
About this guide. I'm Rachel Smith, a qualified meditation teacher, not a sleep specialist. The Sleep Affirmation Cards are mine. I wrote them because, when I was struggling, the nights were often the hardest part. I knew how much sleep mattered, so I went looking for something that might genuinely help. I read the research and tried a lot of things, and these cards are what I wished I'd found. Neuroscientist and sleep expert Olena Santangeli, PhD, later reviewed them.
What helps when someone can't sleep
When someone can't sleep because their mind won't settle, a gift that relaxes the body may not reach the part that's keeping them awake. What tends to help more is something gentle for the thoughts, and for the pressure to sleep itself.
Weighted blankets, sleep masks and chamomile tea can all be lovely, and they might help some people. But if they're lying awake with racing thoughts, or bedtime has started to fill them with dread, relaxation alone may not be enough. Their relationship with sleep can need some kindness too.
That's why the gift I'd choose first is one that speaks to the mind at night. Here's what Olena Santangeli, PhD, wrote after reviewing The Sleep Affirmation Cards:
Olena Santangeli, PhD
Neuroscientist and sleep expert (BSc, MSc, PhD Med) | Child and adult sleep consultant, Caring Sleep Solutions
Read her review alongside the rest →“The sleep cards are fantastic. I particularly like how they foster positive thinking, relaxation, and self-compassion, which are key in managing sleep and stress. They wonderfully echo the principles of cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia and could be used as an additional tool in conquering anxiety surrounding insomnia. These cards also promote mindfulness and self-care, offering hope and support to those struggling with sleep amid life's chaos, making them a very good tool for better rest.”
The problem often isn't that they need to relax. It's that they can't turn their mind off.
Signs it's racing thoughts or sleep anxiety keeping them awake
If racing thoughts or worry about sleep are part of what keeps them awake, you might notice some of these signs. Knowing which it is can help you choose a gift that fits.
- Their mind races the moment they lie down
- They dread bedtime, or feel anxious as the evening goes on
- They judge themselves for being awake (“Why can't I just sleep?”)
- Thoughts spin about tomorrow's tasks, or replay the day
- They feel pressure to sleep “perfectly”
- Even when they're exhausted, they can't seem to fall asleep
If this sounds like them, another sleep mask may not be what they need. Something gentle for an anxious mind might help more.
Gifts for someone who can't sleep, reviewed by experts
These are the two gifts I'd suggest, each for a different part of the night. Both are mine. The cards were reviewed by a neuroscientist and sleep expert, and the journal by clinical psychologists.
The Sleep Affirmation Cards
When someone's lying awake at 2am with racing thoughts, a reminder to “just relax” rarely helps. Having something they can actually do in that moment can. These cards sit by the bed, and one card is enough.
🛏️ Kept by the bed
🃏 20 cards🌙 Read lying down🔬 Reviewed by a neuroscientist and sleep expert
- Gentle on the pressure to sleep, with lines that make room for a harder night
- Something to do when thoughts won't stop, from slow breathing to a calming visualisation
- Kind, not forced: written with self-compassion rather than forced positivity
- Room for your words, with a handwritten gift message included in the order
20 cards, 85mm x 100mm, printed in the UK on luxury 270gsm pistachio card from FSC-certified forests, in plastic-free packaging.
A few of the cards, word for word:
“I release any pressure to have a perfect night's sleep.”
“I can use my breath to help me sleep, counting in for 5 and out for 7.”
“If I notice any racing thoughts, I can imagine moving them from me to the bedside table. They can wait until the morning.”
“In the quiet of the night, I can speak to myself with kindness, the same kindness I would give to a friend.”
“It’s normal that on some days it will take me longer to get to sleep than on others.”
Who this gift is for: someone who lies awake with racing thoughts, judges themselves for not sleeping, feels pressure around bedtime, or has tried “everything” and still struggles.
The Give Yourself Kindness Journal
If the day's feelings tend to follow them to bed, giving those feelings somewhere to go earlier in the evening might help. That's the job The Give Yourself Kindness Journal does. Neuroscientist and sleep expert Olena Santangeli, PhD, wrote about evening journaling in her sleep guide for this site:
Olena Santangeli, PhD
Neuroscientist and sleep expert | From her guide, Simple, effective routines for better sleep
“In the evening, journaling shifts focus, providing a therapeutic outlet to unwind and process the day's events. Reflecting on your experiences by hand, rather than digitally, encourages a deeper engagement with your thoughts and feelings.”
“This hands-on method has been shown to facilitate a more profound processing of emotions, aiding in stress reduction and anxiety management… By physically writing down your worries, achievements, and reflections, you create a mental space for relaxation, making it easier to transition into a restful state of sleep.”
The study she cites: Arigo, D. and Smyth, J. M. (2012), “The benefits of expressive writing on sleep difficulty and appearance concerns for college women”, Psychology & Health.
Read her full guide: Simple, effective routines for better sleep →
🌿 For the evening, before bed
The Give Yourself Kindness Journal
📔 90 days of changing prompts🗓️ Undated⭐ Recommended by clinical psychologists
- The self-compassion journal recommended by Harvard and Oxford psychologists
- An emotion tool on every page, so they can name what they feel even when they're not sure
- Prompts that help them speak to themselves the way they would a friend
- Undated, so a missed night on a hard week leaves no gap to look at
A5, 224 pages, pistachio green cloth cover, 120gsm paper from FSC-certified forests, ribbon marker, printed in the UK. Arrives wrapped in bespoke tissue paper.
Every page is different for 90 days, and every prompt makes room for difficult feelings rather than asking them to be positive. That matters at night, when a forced “good thought” can feel further away than ever.
Dr Chris Germer, PhD
Clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry (part-time), Harvard Medical School | Co-developer of the Mindful Self-Compassion programme, taught to over 250,000 people worldwide
Read Dr Germer’s review alongside the rest →“A warm invitation to make friends with your emotions and yourself!”
Professor Willem Kuyken, PhD, DClinPsy
Ritblat Professor of Mindfulness and Psychological Science, University of Oxford | Listed by Web of Science in the top 1% of the most cited scientists in the world
Read Professor Kuyken’s review alongside the rest →“…Her journal’s are not only aesthetically pleasing, they scaffold my writing. Writing can be creative, beautiful, resourcing, but it can also invoke an inner critic, rumination and procrastination. Rachel has curated the experience to make the writing intrinsically rewarding and the journal something to treasure.”
Who this gift is for: someone whose stress or emotions keep them awake, who'd like to process the day before bed, or who finds structure and gentle guidance helpful in the evening.
Giving both
If you'd like to give something more substantial, the journal and the cards sit naturally side by side: the journal earlier in the evening, a card once they're in bed. You can see them together in the sleep collection.
Choosing between the cards and the journal
If you're choosing between the two, think about when the night gets hardest for them: in bed with the light off, or earlier, with the day still on their mind.
Racing thoughts start the moment the light goes off
Something kind to read lying down, right when the thoughts begin.
The day's stress and feelings are what keep them awake
→ The Give Yourself Kindness Journal
It gives the feelings somewhere to go before bed, so fewer of them are waiting at 2am.
They're too tired to write anything by the end of the day
One card, no pen, nothing to get right.
It's a birthday or a bigger occasion, and you'd like to give more
→ The journal and the cards together
The journal for processing the evening, the cards for night-time support if thoughts still come.
Other gift ideas for better sleep
If you'd like to add something else, these are often chosen for sleep. I've described what they are rather than what they promise, because everyone's nights are different.
Books on sleep and anxiety
- Say Good Night to Insomnia by Dr Gregg Jacobs, a self-help book based on cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia (CBT-I)
- Overcoming Insomnia by Colin Espie, a CBT-based self-help guide from a sleep researcher
Things for the bedroom
Olena Santangeli, PhD, notes in her sleep guide that even the best routines can be undermined if the sleep environment isn't restful. She suggests keeping the bedroom cool, around 18 degrees Celsius, and dark, and says a comfortable mattress and pillows can improve sleep quality. A few gifts along those lines:
- Blackout curtains or a soft sleep mask, for a darker room
- A comfortable pillow, chosen for how they like to sleep
- A weighted blanket, which some people find comforting
- A white noise machine, for anyone woken by small sounds, ideally with a few sound options
From Olena Santangeli's guide, Simple, effective routines for better sleep
Sleep gifts that can add pressure
Some well-meaning sleep gifts can add pressure without anyone intending it. These are the two I'd avoid, with what I'd give instead.
“Sleep better” tea samplers
Lovely in themselves, but as a gift for someone who can't sleep they can suggest it's a simple fix, which can add pressure on the nights they don't work.
✓ Instead: something that makes room for a harder night rather than promising a better one. The Sleep Affirmation Cards →
Sleep trackers
For some people, a nightly score turns rest into something to worry about (“I only got four hours of deep sleep”), and that can increase anxiety about sleep.
✓ Instead: something with nothing to measure and nothing to get right. The Give Yourself Kindness Journal →
What to say to someone who can't sleep when you give it
What you say when you give it can matter as much as the gift itself. Here's how I'd present it with care, and what I'd leave out.
Avoid saying
- “This will fix your sleep!” It creates pressure and expectations that are hard to meet.
- “You just need to try harder with these.” It implies they aren't trying enough.
- “Everyone uses these and they work great.” It can make their struggle feel smaller.
- “I'm worried about your sleep.” Caring, but it can land as criticism.
Try saying
- “I know you've been struggling with sleep. I found these and thought of you. No pressure to use them perfectly, they're just here if they help.”
- “These are about the worry around sleeping, not just relaxing. A neuroscientist reviewed them. I thought they might be useful, and I'm always here if you want to talk.”
- “I care about you and wanted to give you something that might support you. There's no expectation about how or when you use it.”
- “This isn't about fixing anything. I just want you to have something that might make things a bit easier. You deserve support.”
The underlying message is always: “I see you. I understand this is difficult. You're not alone. Here's something that might help, and I'm here regardless.” If you'd like it in their parcel, add your message in the order notes at checkout and I'll write it out by hand.
Your care is the gift
Watching someone you love struggle to sleep is hard, and wanting to help is already a kindness. A gift might not immediately fix their nights, but it can tell them you've noticed, and that they aren't facing the long hours alone.
What you can do is offer something thoughtful and keep showing up. Through your actions and your presence, show them that they matter, that their struggle is real and valid, and that they're not alone.
I made The Sleep Affirmation Cards for exactly those nights: kind words for the bedside, not another sleep rule. Pair them with your love, patience and understanding, and you've given something truly meaningful.
Discover The Sleep Affirmation Cards →
Frequently asked questions
What’s the best gift for someone who can’t sleep due to anxiety?
The best gift for someone who can’t sleep due to anxiety is one that is gentle with the anxious thoughts and the pressure to sleep, not only the body. I’d choose The Sleep Affirmation Cards, twenty kind lines to read in bed. Neuroscientist Olena Santangeli, PhD, says they ‘wonderfully echo the principles of cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia’.
Why do most sleep gifts not work for anxiety-related insomnia?
Most sleep gifts may not help with anxiety-related insomnia because they’re made for the body: something soft, warm or scented. When worry about sleep is part of what keeps someone awake, those gifts can still be lovely, but they may not reach the racing thoughts. A gift that speaks kindly to the mind might help more.
What should I avoid giving someone with sleep anxiety?
With sleep anxiety, I’d avoid gifts that add pressure. For some people a sleep tracker turns rest into a score to worry about, and a ‘sleep better’ tea sampler can suggest it’s a simple fix. Anything implying they’re bad at sleeping can land the same way. Choose something that offers support rather than a solution.
How do sleep affirmation cards help with racing thoughts?
Sleep affirmation cards can help with racing thoughts by giving the mind something gentler to hold at bedtime. The Sleep Affirmation Cards include breathing in for 5 and out for 7, imagining moving racing thoughts to the bedside table until the morning, and lines that ease the pressure to have a perfect night’s sleep.
Does evening journaling actually help with sleep?
Evening journaling might help with sleep by giving the day somewhere to go before bed. Neuroscientist Olena Santangeli, PhD, writes that it can provide ‘a therapeutic outlet to unwind and process the day’s events’, and she points to a 2012 study by Arigo and Smyth on expressive writing and sleep difficulty. She also recommends writing by hand rather than digitally.
Should I combine multiple sleep gifts or give just one?
One sleep gift is plenty, and combining two can also work because they help at different moments. The Give Yourself Kindness Journal gives the day’s feelings somewhere to go earlier in the evening, and The Sleep Affirmation Cards are for once they’re in bed. If you’re choosing one, choose by the moment their night gets hardest.
What is a good gift for someone with insomnia?
A good gift for someone with insomnia is one that eases the pressure around sleep rather than promising to fix it. I’d choose The Sleep Affirmation Cards, reviewed by neuroscientist and sleep expert Olena Santangeli, PhD. A gift can’t cure insomnia, but something kind by the bed can make the long hours feel a little less lonely.
What’s a comforting gift for someone who can’t sleep?
A comforting gift for someone who can’t sleep is something kind to reach for in the dark hours. The Sleep Affirmation Cards sit by the bed with lines like ‘I am safe and supported in this moment.’ Add your own message in the order notes at checkout and I’ll write it out by hand and include it with the cards.
Continue reading
From the experts quoted here
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Simple, effective routines for better sleep: a neuroscientist's guideOlena Santangeli, PhD, neuroscientist and sleep expert
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The benefits of journaling, from three clinical psychologistsDr Josh Mirmelli, Dr Andreas Comninos and Dr Chris Irons
Related guides
- The best guided journal for sleep
- Racing thoughts at night: what actually helps
- Gifts for someone struggling with their mental health
- Gifts for someone going through a hard time
- Christmas gifts for someone going through a tough time
- Gift for a friend with anxiety
- Gifts for someone with burnout
- What mental health professionals say about these tools
If the sleep is one part of something bigger, this covers gifts for someone struggling with their mental health.
“By far my favourite guided journal that I’ve used!”
If it's the day's feelings that keep them awake, The Give Yourself Kindness Journal gives those feelings somewhere to go, with an emotion tool on every page and 90 days of changing prompts.
